Sunday, November 26, 2006
1:03:00 PM
Reality Bites
Dax
It's amazing how time flies. My cousins are all grown up now. It's been ages since I last saw them, and seeing them the other day, I just can't help asking myself what happened to the years that went by, what did I do with them?
Gigi was wearing nail polish now and her hair was styled differently while KC is taller than me now and she's been accessorizing. They were different now from those girls that I met from the airport almost 10 years ago. I still can't believe that Gigi is already 18, in collge and driving in the freeway now. (I still haven't gone to the freeway!).
I was even speechless when they told me that they already have or had a boyfriend. I know they've been waiting for me to say something. They kept asking me if I have questions about "it." I just asked simple questions and they kept asking if there's any more.
I don't really know what to think or say. I know they value my opinion and all, but it's ok with me that I know. And I don't want to know exactly the details of what they do or how they spend time. It's their private thing. And I'm happy that they are experiencing love and all that comes with it.
It just really hit me hard to think of the years I've wasted. It's almost 10 years and I'm still the same. It's like time stopped for me at 21, still the happy-go-lucky-come-what-may girl. At the fitting room with KC, I looked hard in the mirror, I still see myself the same. Wearing shirt and jeans, just like in college. But then I looked older. Maybe like a "manang" or something. Maybe I'll be like this Lola in jeans. I just can't see myself wearing girly clothes like older people do, or even wear girly shoes. Well that's only the physical side.
I still haven't worked on my future yet. I really don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I think of what really is my purpose in life or if it's better that I should die na lang.
Gigi was wearing nail polish now and her hair was styled differently while KC is taller than me now and she's been accessorizing. They were different now from those girls that I met from the airport almost 10 years ago. I still can't believe that Gigi is already 18, in collge and driving in the freeway now. (I still haven't gone to the freeway!).
I was even speechless when they told me that they already have or had a boyfriend. I know they've been waiting for me to say something. They kept asking me if I have questions about "it." I just asked simple questions and they kept asking if there's any more.
I don't really know what to think or say. I know they value my opinion and all, but it's ok with me that I know. And I don't want to know exactly the details of what they do or how they spend time. It's their private thing. And I'm happy that they are experiencing love and all that comes with it.
It just really hit me hard to think of the years I've wasted. It's almost 10 years and I'm still the same. It's like time stopped for me at 21, still the happy-go-lucky-come-what-may girl. At the fitting room with KC, I looked hard in the mirror, I still see myself the same. Wearing shirt and jeans, just like in college. But then I looked older. Maybe like a "manang" or something. Maybe I'll be like this Lola in jeans. I just can't see myself wearing girly clothes like older people do, or even wear girly shoes. Well that's only the physical side.
I still haven't worked on my future yet. I really don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I think of what really is my purpose in life or if it's better that I should die na lang.
Hi Dha,
I don't know what to say, dagukan na lang kaya kita?!
You've worked and sacrificed a lot! It might have not been reaping like how you dreamed your life to be but it does help in other ways...you've been always there for us, boosting when we're down, inspiring when we're almost giving up and mediating when things aren't as smooth.
We all know, the four of us have all been thru hell and high waters...mostly thru hell the purpose of which is to strengthen us, marami pa tayong gagawin because we have to, there's no other way but forward. Mukhang gasgas na no, pero ganon nga yata talaga...it's a wheel and a cycle. Rolling..up and down...young and now aging...waahhh! Haynaku hija, what I can only suggest and the best I have - don't forget HIM...share with HIM all plans and efforts you've done, ask for HIS guidance and blessing...lam ko na, isasama ko ang daily bread pagpadala sayo. I hope you'll read it =)
I have been to rock bottom not only once and you know that, you were there for me and I appreciate having real friends around talaga. Distance may separate, time may not meet but the caring and thoughts are incomparable, needless to say.
sha, di mo mashado feel mag comment dito no? di naman sya mukhang isa pang entry. Ü
dha! what are you saying?! depression in full force?! hey! everyone's got their own problems like you do. so, don't think that way.
andito kami ok? di ka na ba masaya samin? sa walang katapusan nating paulit ulit na mga topics? sa kagandahan ko? Ü sa kamanyakan ni cherry? sa walang katapusang pag aaral ni sha? (yey! lapit na din graduate si sha) sa 10yrs ng pending na pictures and entry ni che tungkol sa nya?
i'll see you next year, ok? i'll see you! i love you dha! we love you! Ü
thanks for the reps...
it's just that I'm a slacker.
I should be somewhere now, maybe midway in reaching my dreams.
Problem is, I don't have a dream.
I'm not depressed. It's just that reality sucks. It's been hitting me in the face for sometime now and I'm letting it.
I don't have any urge to move forward. Because I don't have a goal, aim, or ambition. I don't even have faith.
And as I've told you before, I know this and I'm not doing anything about it.
All I've been doing is bitching around about life or whatnot.
Maybe I don't even have the right to complain because I'm not doing about it.
Me sucks!hehehe
For the first time, ako naman magsasabi sayo Dha...baliw!!! hehehehe!
Sabi ko na nga ba at magrereact, parang isang entry ang comment ko wahahaha!
Kala mo lang yon, not having a dream...di nga lang sya ganon ka-vivid pero it's there...our business na di matuloy tuloy, ang get together at super gimik pag uwi mo, you dream big nga eh, kaya nga naiisip mo dapat halfway there ka na, kala mo lang din you stop, eh tapos na lang kaya ang peak season sa AK kaya ka bakasyon otherwise working as busy as a bee ang drama mo diba, haynakupo, don't lose hope and the dream of having a good life someday - let's always keep that in mind.
OA ba reaction namin ni Anne, lalo na ako?! I hope not =)
Thanks Shar, pero I know matagal na akong baliw. hehehe
Wala akong maisip eh. I know dapat I'm looking for work pero I'm not.
Anong tawag mo dun? hehehe
Super tamad at its best.
I have no right to complain.
@>--- Care to be adventurous and leave a mark?
@>--- Back to the Main Road